I know what you’re thinking…the words “relaxing” & “mom” don’t always end up in the same sentence! In fact, other than Mother’s Day or your birthday, those two might rarely end up going together. As a new mom, whether you stay at home or are grinding as a working mom, it can be soo easy to start to feel like you are always running on empty. The early newborn days are especially hard when you are already getting minimal sleep. Y’all, those days are rough!!
I’ve heard it said that in order to take care of your children well, it’s important to put yourself first sometimes. This can be really challenging because it can almost feel selfish to put ourselves before our sweet babies. But it can become almost impossible to have the energy to pour out everyday once your cup is empty and you have nothing left to pour. So that is why I’ve learned that it’s important to take the time to fill yourself back up with the things that bring YOU joy! At the end of the day, you are still your own person & deserve an occasional break!
So total transparency, I began to hit a wall with my baby. I feel really guilty even saying that, but honestly I felt like I was going to LOSE IT if I had to answer one more cry! If you’re in the trenches of motherhood right now, or even just remember what that stage is like, then you might know exactly what I’m talking about. Don’t get me wrong, I love my baby more than life itself & it is truly is a joy and blessing to get to stay home and take care of him.
But the reality is, it can start to feel like you are hearing crying non-stop sometimes, because let’s face it, babies have no other means of communication. So the reality is every time they are hungry, tired, need a diaper change, want to be held, are tired of being held, are having a bad day, going through a growth spurt or sleep regression, or are just plain bored…it all is expressed with crying! Hearing that all day, everyday (with no breaks) is enough to drive anybody crazy (so you aren’t a bad parent if you are feeling this way!!)
But you are probably thinking, Katelyn, how can I even find the time to relax when I can barely find the time to eat a real meal? I totally get that, the struggle is real!
One thing I finally had to do, which I *dreaded* doing was….asking for more help. I honestly waited too long to do this, but let’s be honest, don’t we all want to be SUPER MOM?! The mom that has it all together. The one that no matter how little sleep she’s gotten, or how many times she’s gotten spit up all over her, she buckles down & just keeps going with a smile on her face! No, just me? Cool.
Honestly, this was also something I was nervous to do simply because it meant having someone other than myself take care of my baby. Having my husband take over was totally fine, but inviting others in to help was something that took me a little more time (and by “little”, I mean months) to feel comfortable with. Whether it was due to pride, or trust issues, I just felt so uncomfortable leaving anyone alone with my baby. If you are experiencing this, know that what you are feeling is totally normal & VALID. If you aren’t ready, you aren’t ready. As a stay-at-home mom, I just hit a point where I realized that I needed a break. Even if it was just 30-60 minutes of separation. I just want to be the BEST version of myself so that I can be the best MOM for my baby! Taking time to rest put me in the position where I was able to do that.
So around this point, I finally talked to my husband about needing to find more time for myself here & there. Just a mental breather, so that I had some to time to recharge & be ready to hop back in the game.
ALSO, once my baby started taking longer naps during the day (PRAISE JESUS!) I started having several longer stretches of the day back to myself. This was super helpful! Granted, with ADHD, I have also wasted a lot of nap times…but that’s for another time.
If it’s not possible for a spouse to help, maybe try reaching out to grandparents, or friends. Really just anyone in your circle who you trust & feel comfortable with! I can promise you that they would probably love nothing more than to help you & also get some play time with your little cutie. (Remember, you are not a bad mom for asking for help!!)
So just to go back to the original question – how to even find time to relax as a new mom? 1. Ask for help & 2. Take advantage of nap times. These are two of the best ways I’ve found to have that time.
Once I was starting to have some time back to myself, I started forming a list of things that I could do that were just for myself! No cleaning or laundry. Obviously, those are things that need to be done at some point, but those don’t always have to be the main priority if it’s just another task that drains your cup.
*Side note, I am writing this from the perspective of being a stay-at-home mom of one baby. Working moms or moms of multiples might be out there laughing at me right now, but the general idea can still be applied.*
So now that we’ve established why we deserve breaks and where to find the time, let’s move onto the fun part of how we can find ways to rest & relax. There are SO many things that you can easily do to relax that don’t even require you to leave your home. Everyone’s cup of tea is different when it comes to what they consider to be relaxing, but hopefully this list helps get the ideas flowing of ways you can spend the break we all know you deserve!!
1.Take a Nap
I know that you’re probably thinking that is so much easier said than done. This is definitely something that was harder in the early newborn days. For one, newborn babies sometimes sleep in shorter increments and second, their sleep can also just be incredibly unpredictable. They don’t have much of a sleep pattern formed yet…but also they still sleep all the time. So all of that to say, finding a time for you to nap *uninterrupted* can be hard. Again, this is where having help from others can be useful if it’s available and you feel comfortable with it.
But let’s be real, sometimes the only thing I even want to think of doing when I have some time to myself is literally just laying horizontal, closing my eyes, and turning my brain off! And NOTHING feels better than waking up & feeling recharged from a nap! There are times though that I not able to truly fall asleep. Whether that be from drinking coffee earlier in the day, or I can’t turn my thoughts off – regardless, just laying down and closing my eyes for a little while always helps me to feel more refreshed!
2. Take a Bath
Sometimes as a new mom, finding the time to actually get yourself clean can be hard to do! I’m not sure why that ends up being the thing that gets put on the back burner, but sometimes it just is. For me, taking a bath can be more relaxing than showering. I think it’s the fact that I’m not having to stand on my feet – I’m already doing enough of that throughout the day lol! But if showering sounds better to you, you take that shower! Regardless, being able to get myself clean, wash my hair, and actually shave my legs (because we all know if anything is getting put on the back burner, it’s shaving!) always makes me feel SOO much better! So light a candle, throw in the your favorite bath salts, put on a facemask, and just take a breather!
3. Fix Your Favorite Beverage
We all know that getting our specific order from our favorite coffee or tea shop can feel far superior to making our own drinks at home. Some days though, no special drink is *special* enough to get us out of the house as a new mom. Regardless, caffeine can become a must on those days where you need a little extra boost! Taking the time to make a good cup of warm coffee or tea and cuddling up on the couch can be just what you need to reset. There are also so many copy-cat recipes now online that you can make that fancy latte that you love right from your own kitchen! And who knows, you might even save a little money by doing it!
4. Read a Book
Regardless of the genre you love, reading a good book while curled up under a blanket on the couch can feel so therapeutic. I personally love a good murder mystery book – relaxing, right? Being able to take my mind to another place that doesn’t involve feeding or changing a diaper can be just the break that I need. If actually reading a book isn’t your thing, and with ADHD I totally understand that, audiobooks are a great way to escape for a little bit as well! This also might give you a chance to close your eyes for little bit as well!
If you are looking for ways to listen to audiobooks, Audible is a great site to use! You can try it free for 30 days to see if audiobooks are even your thing & are able to cancel at anytime! It’s also a great way to multitask when trying to get things done, or even as you are taking time for yourself. Imagine combining 2-4 & taking a nice bath…while enjoying your favorite beverage…while also listening to an amazing book! Talk about RELAXING!
5. Listen to Your Favorite Music or Podcast
In the same vein as listening to an audiobook, listening to your favorite music or podcast can be just as enjoyable! I love throwing on my headphones while I’m doing different things during nap time & it makes everything seem more lighthearted and relaxing! These are some of my favorite headphones off of Amazon that are wireless & hold a battery charge like nobody’s business!
6. Watch Your Favorite Show or Start a New One
If you are anything like me, you have a comfort T.V. show! You know, the show that you’ve already seen all the way through like seven times & you can pretty much quote every episode! Side note, there’s actually a reason behind why we do this – it’s called the ‘Familiarity Principle’. We find these shows/movies to be comforting because we know what is going to happen – it’s familiar to you! That’s why these shows are so easy to throw on in the background. But if you are in the mood for something new & wanting to binge watch the latest hit T.V., show, go for it! Again, this is all about what you find relaxing!
7. Get Yourself Some Nice, New Pajamas
Feeling cute when you’re getting ready for bed, or even just lounging around the house can just put you in a better mindset! Plus, treating yourself always feels nice! Some of my absolute FAVORITE pajamas are Lake Pajamas. The quality is just unmatched and the cut is so flattering. These definitely might be a splurge, but you can also score some gently used sets on Poshmark or Facebook Marketplace. Lake also offers a 10% discount off your first purchase! There are also soo many cute options from other brands & on Amazon! In general, it just feels nice to sometimes get out of the same pair of sweats we wear day in & day out.
8. Fix Your Nails Up
I don’t know about you, but there’s something about having my nails done that just make me feel so much more put together. Fixing your nails at home isn’t always as relaxing as going somewhere to have them done, but with a little practice, you can get the same results! I’m a perfectionist, so I actually enjoying being able to do them myself! There are so many kits out there that can give salon quality results & plenty of Youtube videos to show you how. And again, in the long run, you can actually save money this way too! Here are some of my favorite dip sets & gel kits with everything you need to get started!
9. Neck Massage at Home
As moms to little babies, we tend to carry a lot of tension in our neck and shoulders! Whether this is because of how we sit when feeding or due to carrying them all the time, the stiffness can easily build up. One of my favorite treats to myself is using this Shiatsu neck massager off of Amazon! Truly this helps alleviate so much pain! It can even heat up when using, which is just the cherry on top. It’s also not limited to your neck! I’ve used this all the way down my back, as well as my feet on occasion. Simply place wherever you are wanting to experience a massage & pull the straps to experience as much pressure as you’d like. Truly so relaxing!!
10. Get Outside
Honestly, sometimes the most restful & relaxing thing I can do is just sitting outside, closing my eyes, and feeling the sunshine on my face! I love listening to the breeze blow & birds chirp (with baby monitor in hand of course!). Even just seeing a different scenery outside, instead of the same four walls you might see everyday at home or work can be refreshing!
Being a mom can come with some pretty difficult days. Hopefully this list encourages & inspires you with some ideas of ways to take the break we all know you deserve. If you have any other ideas for ways to rest & relax while at home, leave them in the comments!
You’re crushing it! You got this, mama girl!
XO, Katelyn